2. Just a Closer Tune to Thee
Lyrics by Dan Eumurian
Tune: “Just a Closer Walk with Thee”
Original tune and lyrics possibly by a railroad station porter, heard by Robert Morris in 1940, according to Wikipedia, which also cites possible earlier origin in “southern African-American churches of the nineteenth century….”

Just a closer tune to Thee,
Let me listen for the key,
Tuned to heaven’s harmony,
Musically, dear Lord, musically.

3. The Old Upright
Dan Eumurian

This was my first “piano poem.” It was inspired by two pianos I tuned many years ago. One was a beautiful old upright at the Masonic Temple in Sparta, Wisconsin, which was being used by the local Evangelical Free Church. The other was a small piano owned by an elderly lady in Viroqua, Wisconsin. As I was tuning it, her renter, a young man, came down the steps and said, “I wondered what was going on down here. I thought it was one of her grandkids banging on the piano. I was going to break both of his arms.” The poem was also inspired by the classic poem “The Touch of the Master’s Hand,” by Myra Brooks Welch, which I highly recommend and which I consider a much better poem than this.

The ivories were yellowed
and some boards had been removed.
The hammers stood like frozen birds;
Their felt was deeply grooved.
A string or two was broken
and some springs refused to stay,
And yet an old man came and sat
and started in to play.

The feeble chords were challenged
by a speaker system’s blares.
The roaring ceased, and nimble feet
were heard upon the stairs.
The door swung wide; a youth rushed in
with cash to pay the rent,
But then the young man turned and paused
and looked before he went.

“My electronic keyboard,”
said the young man with a grin,
Could leave you in the dust,
The shape that old piano’s in.”
”I’ll grant you that,” the elder said,
But even though it might,
It’s hard to beat the tone you get
Out of this old upright.

“The pinblock, see, is laminated
hard rock maple there.
It’s built to take the many tons
of strain it has to bear.
The soundboard, then, is one big sheet
of spruce, with quite a crown.
It rings the best when all those good, long strings
are pulling down.

The ivories are yellowed,
but they’re elegant to touch.                           
They’d look it too, but these old fingers
now can’t do so much.                  
The pedals and the action
let you play it soft or loud.                                  
I’m thankful that I’ve got it,
and it almost makes me proud.

The kids in town are tickled
when I tickle those old keys,                           
And when I let them try,
they’re just as happy as you please.            
Electronic’s fine, and I’d be glad
to try it if I might,                                   
But any time you want to, son,
you play this old upright.

The ivories are whiter now;
new strings have been put on.                      
Springs, keys and pedals work like new;
the hammer grooves are gone.         
The children still come visiting
and get a chance to play.                              
The young man owns the upright, though;
his friend has gone away.

Efficiency and ease
are worthy elements of truth,                                      
But righteousness and love
will build the character of youth.                        
And though today is good,
it has a heritage to hold.                                  
The new is made more valuable
by valuing the old.

Copyright (c) 2007, Dan Eumurian
1634 Barlow St., La Crosse, WI 54601
hope4you@centurytel.net

4. Old Macdonald Had a Piano
Lyrics by Dan Eumurian
Music: Traditional

Old Macdonald had a piano,
E-E-D-D- C- - - - - -
And on that piano he had some keys,
E-E-D-D- C- - - - - - -
GG C-C-C- GG C-C-C-
CCC- CCC- CCCC C-C-
Old Macdonald had a piano,
E-E-D-D- C- - - - - - - -

E is to the right of the two black keys,
E-E-D-D- C- - - - - - - -
D is between the two black keys,
E-E-D-D- C- - - - - -
With a C-C-C- and a C-C-C-
CCC- CCC- CCCC C-C-
C is to the left of the two black keys,
E-E-D-D- C- - - - - - -

Lyrics © 2013, Come Thru Music Co., BMI
www.LaCrossePiano.com

5. Do Your Ears Ring, Joe?
Lyrics by Dan Eumurian
Music: Traditional

Do your ears ring, Joe,
Is their sensing kind of low?
Did you fill ‘em full of rock,
Did you crank ‘em full of roll? 
Has the volume of your stereo
Come around again to bury you?
Do your ears ring, Joe?

Do your ears ring, Joe?
Are you thinking it’s a joke?
Are the hair cells in your ears
Only bent or are they broke?
Is your tinnitus suggesting
Ear protection, maybe resting?
Do your ears ring, Joe?

Do your ears ring, Joe?
Muffs or ear plugs when you mow
Might prevent some hearing loss
Or just cause the loss to slow.
Sound too loud or too extended
Precious ears leaves undefended
Do your ears ring, Joe?

Lyrics © 2013, Dan Eumurian,
dba Come Thru Music Co., BMI
www.LaCrossePiano.com

6. Three Piano Mice
Lyrics by Dan Eumurian
Music: Traditional, with thanks to the University of North Dakota Men’s Chorus, who sang “Three Blind Mice” in a round, complete with the “squeak,” as an encore at their concert in Northeast Ohio around 1974 or 1975, and to my late choir director at Kent State University, Mr. Robert Hull Foulkes, who told me about the concert.

Three piano mice,
Tickle, Toggle and Tweak,
Make it sound nice
And play without a squeak.

Toggle regulates action parts,
Tweak tunes the flats and sharps,
Tickle will play till she tops the charts.

Three
Piano
Mice.
Squeak!

Lyrics © 2013, Dan Eumurian,
dba Come Thru Music Co., BMI
www.LaCrossePiano.com

7. A Tree Fell in the Forest
Dan Eumurian

I’ve been interested in the science of origins since eighth grade. It was the fall of 1964, and our Earth Science teacher at Sparta (WI) Junior High had just issued our new textbooks, with a copyright date of 1965. The book suggested that the earth was very old. This conflicted with the view with which I had been raised, that God had created the entire universe in six twenty-four hour days, around six thousand years ago. By the time I got to Introduction to Biology class at the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse, around six years later, my views had changed. The professor asked the class members who believed in creation to go to one side of the room, and asked those who believed in evolution to go to the other. He and I were the only two in the middle. Around the late 1970s, I organized a study group on the issue in the Vernon-Crawford County area. I remember that Bob Schmoll, an accordionist, was a member of the group. Somewhere along the way I heard the term “mere creationism,” a takeoff, I would guess, of the title of the CS Lewis classic Mere Christianity. I tracked the term down and joined the American Scientific Affiliation, of which I am still a member. This poem, along withtwo of my other pieces, were published in the Summer, 2016 issue of that organization’s God and Nature magazine: https://godandnature.asa3.org/three-poems-by-dan-eumurian.html. As background, the invention of the piano, around 1698, is attributed to Bartolomeo Cristofori, who was the harpsichord keeper for the prince of Florence, Italy.

A Tree Fell in the Forest
Dan Eumurian

A tree fell in the forest
One bright and sunny day.
You’d never guess the wonders
That occurred upon its way.

This maple had been seasoned;
It splintered as it dropped,
For it hit an oak and pine and spruce
Before it finally stopped.

The other trees were split as well,
In scores of keen-edged parts.
The way they chanced to land
Produced an awe-inspiring start.

The maple turned to dowels, whippens,
Flanges, cores and jacks.
The spruce produced a wide, thin sheet,
With square posts at its back.

But some of that rock maple split
In several sheets as well--
Fine, quarter-sawn, with curving bridges
Long and short, I tell.

The pine flew into eighty-eight
Precisely angled keys,
With holes in front and middle
To admit the forest breeze.

It must have been a thin-sheet day,
Because that mighty oak
Was layered into fine veneer
As quickly as it broke.

But tragedy occurred
As that great tree fell from the sky.
A sheep and elephant and horse
Had happened to walk by.

The sheep was sheared; its wool formed disks
And blocks and tight-wrapped felt.
As blindest chance made beauty
Of the hand that it had dealt.

The elephant lost both its tusks,
And on it travelled, maimed.
The horse was killed; its hide flew off;
The friction turned to flame.

The blaze turned iron ore to screws
And springs and pins of steel.
Enough was left that from the flow
A flat plate did congeal.

The glue formed from the hide worked,
In an eon or a nano,
To form the mighty instrument
We call today “piano.”

Some prattle of Cristofori
And say I’ve something missin’.
Did that tree ever make a sound?
Well, maybe—if you listen.

© 2013, rev. 2021, Dan Eumurian
www.LaCrossePiano.com

8. Play, Play, Play the Piano
Lyrics by Dan Eumurian
Tune: “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” (Traditional)

Play, play, play the piano
Up and down the scale.
Thumb under, third finger over,
Try again if you fail.

Lyrics © 2021, Dan Eumurian
www.LaCrossePiano.com

9. P-I-ANO
Lyrics by Dan Eumurian
Tune: “Bingo” See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bingo_(folk_song)

There was an instrument had some keys,
And piano was its name-o.
P-I-ANO, P-I-ANO,
P-I-ANO, and piano was its name-o.

(Repeat, using “"pedals,” “hammers,” “wippens,” “jacks,” etc.)

Lyrics © 2021, Dan Eumurian
www.LaCrossePiano.com

10. Piano Star
Lyrics by Dan Eumurian
Tune: “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” (Traditional)

Please be cautious in introducing this song to young children. I believe they may become confused, thinking of it in relation to “Twinkle.”

Plinko, plinko, piano star,
Piano bench is where you are.
Practicing each scale and chord,
I see dreams you’re heading toward.

You don’t yet know every key,
But you’re still a star to me.

Lyrics © 2021, Dan Eumurian
www.LaCrossePiano.com

11. The Lost Cord
Lyrics by Dan Eumurian, after Adelaide Porter, “The Lost Chord” (public domain)
Tune: The Lost Chord, by Sir Arthur Sullivan

Neither of my parents was a professional musician, but they both loved music, were creative, and had a sense of humor. When I was six, Mom adapted the words to the song “Solomon Levi,” and with my “help” wrote a tribute to Roy Rogers, the “King of the Cowboys” and a hero of mine:

”My last name is Rogers,
My first name is Roy.
My horse’s name is Trigger
And I am a cowboy.

I wear cowboy overalls,
A shirt and neckscarf too.
I wear a hat and tote a gun
And carry a lasso.

REFRAIN
Oh, Be a Cowboy,
Come and ride with me!
Oh, Be a Cowboy,
It’s fun as you can see. (Return to verse.)

I contracted polio at the age of ten months and had my first major operation at the age of six. At one point in my childhood, I had every child’s dream: They bought me a pony! His name was Jackie, and he came with a red steel cart and a saddle. I was the most popular kid in Angelo, Wisconsin, and would give rides to the other kids. I had casts on both legs due to another operation. One day I was driving the cart thru an alley between the Angelo Community Church where Dad pastored and Mom led the “pre-session” and taught Sunday School. The dogs in the kennel by the alley barked, Jackie ran thru a ditch, and I fell out on my head—casts and everything. I can blame that incident for any crazy thing I’ve done—and there have been many! 😁

One day, when I was an adult, Dad gave me a slip of paper with the words “The Lost Cord.” There was a beautiful song by Adelaide Porter and Sir Arthur Sullivan (of the operetta team Gilbert and Sullivan) called “The Lost Chord.” Basically it was about Porter’s
brother who had died. The song ends, “It may be that only in heav’n I will hear that grand Amen.” I caught onto what Dad had in mind and wrote the following:

Seated one day at the keyboard,
I was weary and ill at heart
As I thought of the big performance
That soon was going to start.

I glanced at the knobs and dials,
And turned the switch to on,
But the batteries were missing
And the power cord was gone.
And the power cord was gone.

I looked in the bench and tool box
For a plug and some wire.
All I found was a book of instructions
In case of electrical fire.

I tore at the stage ropes and curtains
With cries and moans and tears.
Then I spied an acoustic piano
That hadn't been played in years.

I looked in the Yellow Pages
For a tuner-technician.
I found one who came right over,
Although he had planned to go fishin'.

He said it would need regulation,
And wild beats must be stilled.
My fears were relieved by his emblem,
"Piano Technicians Guild."

They say electronic keyboards
Sound almost like a band,
But they'll never replace a spinet,
A console or upright or grand.

The young and the old musicians
Who value their touch and sound
Will hope that the cord that was lost
May not ever be found.

Lyrics copyright © 2007, Dan Eumurian
1634 Barlow St., La Crosse, WI 54601
hope4you@centurytel.net
www.LaCrossePiano.com
Facebook: Dan Eumurian Piano Service (business)
Facebook: Dan Eumurian (personal, some links)
Lyrics © 2021, Dan Eumurian
www.LaCrossePiano.com

12. Tuner at the Keys (or, Independence Day)
The score was on the podium, and seated, set to play,
The orchestra to celebrate on Independence Day.
A whispered conversation...the conductor, in a swoon,
Said, "Ladies, gentlemen, I fear the piano's out of tune!

“Our A-440 isn't close; the octaves are a mess.
The intervals and unisons are failing every test."
A gasp arose, and from the front the President inquired,
"How could this be on such a day?
How could this have transpired?"

The Secret Service radioed;
the troopers shouted, "Freeze!"
From backstage, the stage manager
was dragged on trembling knees.
"Give answer, man!" the governor cried.
"What criminal neglect!
We're here to celebrate our country.
Man, have you no respect?" 

"Good sirs," replied the manager, "If you would just recall,
I'm merely following your lead;
the blame lies with you all.
A tuner uses standard pitch, determined in the past,
Based on a framework set by God,
which he designed to last.

But your administrations, legislation and decisions
Have substituted for his law, frail humankind's revisions.
The wealthy sneak around the truth;
the underclass ignore it.
More than pianos need a standard.
Now, should we restore it?"

"Restore it!" pled the orchestra.
"We need a clear direction."
"Restore it!" called the moms and dads.
"Our families need protection."
"Restore it!" begged the patients,
the crime victims and their friends.
"Restore it!" said the criminals.
"We'll try to make amends."

"All right," the politicians said, as quiet as a mouse.
The manager announced, "Is there a tuner in the house?"
A single figure rose, picked up a kit
and took the bench—
A tuning fork, some rubber mutes,
a wooden-handled wrench.

And sensitive, determined, he put pressure to the pins,
As though he saw potential beyond frailty and sins.
One note, twelve notes, all eighty-eight
in harmony could play.
The Maker had set free the song
on Independence Day.

Just a closer tune to thee.
Let me listen for the key,
Tuned to heaven's harmony,
Musically, dear Lord, musically.
                                                                                      Lyrics by Dan Eumurian, © 2014, Dan Eumurian,
dba Come Thru Music Co., BMI
Music: "Just a Closer Walk with Thee," (author unknown)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Just_a_Closer_Walk_with_Thee
1634 Barlow St., La Crosse, WI 54601
(608) 788-8637 (78-TUNER)
hope4you@centurytel.net
www.LaCrossePiano.com

13. A Theology of Piano Tuning

Although I’m a preacher’s kid, have had a year of Bible college, and have a master’s degree in theology, my spiritual journey has been, shall we say, interesting. Mom would tell me that when she and Dad brought me home from a two week quarantine at the Camp McCoy (now Fort McCoy) hospital after I contracted polio at the age of ten months, I reached for my walker. Apparently I thought that if they would just put me “behind the wheel,” my legs would work. When my legs refused to work, I felt betrayed, and would never again touch that walker. I became a little fighter—a rebel. I would wet my pants—a practice cured only by Mom’s threat to put a sign around my neck as I left for school, reading “I wet my pants today.” I would throw stones. As I entered first grade, the ilial-tibial band in my left leg began to shorten, and my leg began to be pulled out to the side. I could take about four steps and then would have to crawl. Picture a playground with around 119 kids running and one crawling. My rebellious ways were brought up short when, on a Sunday afternoon, Mom got me to put my name into the Bible verse John 3:16: “For God so loved Danny….” I prayed, cried, and was baptized, but my home/church/spiritual life didn’t mesh well with my rather tumultuous school life. Many years later, Dad had me read John 10:27-30. I knelt and prayed, “Lord, I want to be your sheep.” Shortly thereafter, I began to write songs in a serious way. Many more years later, I found myself lying on my bedroom floor as God showed me that I had been a rebel all my life, while his Son had lived in submission to him. Another major step in my spiritual life was my intellectual search. Particularly with the help of Dr. Walter A. Elwell, one of my former professors at Wheaton College Graduate School, I’ve found it helpful to look for analogies between everyday life and the life of the spirit. Dr. Elwell suggested the title for my master’s thesis, “Analogy and Paradox in Austin Farrer.” Dr. Farrer had taught at Oxford University, and was said to have come the closest of any British thinker to having a complete “system.” One of those analogies relates to pianos. The section of the piano between the keys and the strings is called the action. Without it, no amount of pounding on the keys would make the strings do what they need to do. In my mind this relates to the passage in James 2 in the Bible that says that faith without works is dead. The piano as invented by Bartolomeo Cristofori around 1698 had a wooden frame. In 1825, Alpheus Babcock patented a cast iron piano frame. (See “Alpheus Babcock Square Piano American” at https://www.metmuseum.org.) This allowed more tension to be placed on the strings, producing a richer, louder sound. I believe God wants to increase our capacity to accept stress. I’ve written more on this general idea, and would welcome discussion at hope4you@centurytel.net.

14. I Need It Tuned by Yesterday
Lyrics by Dan Eumurian
Tune: “Yesterday,” by Paul McCartney/Lennon-McCartney

Many of us who work in service industries occasionally receive calls from customers who want us to do work for them “immediately if not sooner.” Dr. Shubha Ghosh, a professor of copyright law at Syracuse University and formerly at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, has told me that it’s legal for me to publish my own lyrics to a copyrighted song, even though I would have to obtain permission to publish the music. Accordingly, here’s a humorous lament for us piano techs—and others:

Yesterday
Could you possibly stop by my place?
My piano’s in an awful way.
I need it tuned by yesterday.

Suddenly
I remember that today’s the day—
The recital that I have to play.
I need it tuned by yesterday.

It’s been
Quite a while since the last time, I’ll agree:
Bought in
Nineteen-twenty and tuned in fifty-three.

By the way,
There are forty keys that will not play.
In a year or two I’ll try to pay,
But tune it, please, by yesterday.

15. If It Takes Forever, I Will Tune for You
Lyrics by Dan Eumurian, after “Je ne pourrai jamais vivre sans toi,” by Michael Legrand and Jacques Demy, from the musical “The Umbrellas of Cherbourg” (see Wikipedia: “I Will Wait for You”

Although I try to be accurate, I’m generally not a fast tuner. Sometimes I think of Mrs. Louise Allendorf, a lady from our church when I was a kid. I was just getting started tuning pianos, and I was tuning hers too slowly for her taste. She challenged me to do the tuning in an hour, and I at least came close. In this lyric I poke fun at myself.

If it takes forever, I will tune for you.
I have brought my lever; I’m a boon for you.
I will spend the evening and till noon for you.
Till I get it tight, I’ll be right here.

It took seven hours for the temperament.
I have stretched the treble to the final cent.
Then I touched the keybed;
once more, out it went.
It’s the second night, and my plight’s clear.

It’s been quite a while, but it’s been worth the wait.
I apologize for going on so late.
If you’ll pardon me, now I must regulate,
And so, if you might, shine that light here.

Why’d you stick that light in my right ear?

!! !!! !! !!! !! !!! !! !!! !! !!!

"Sing joyfully to the Lord, you righteous;
it is fitting for the upright to praise him.”
—Psalm 33:1. The Bible.